Oil and acrylic on wood panel

12 x 12 in. / 30 x 30 cm
2012

"The lack of bonding with my newborn, that I addressed in the preface, was enduring. Tomson is now 9 ½ years old. When he was a baby, I would push him in the stroller for hours on end, a type of multitasking that enabled me to care for him and simultaneously indulge my fantasy of walking away from this new life of being a mother. I would take pictures of his face and when he was napping, paint from those photographs as seen in a series entitled BABYBEAST. At the time of their showing, at La Petite Mort Gallery, May 2012, I wrote a sarcastic artist statement saying that I did not understand why everyone cares about so much about babies. It was a curious opinion for someone who had a six-month-old. What I did not realize, at the time, is that I was in the throes of a deep and dark post-partum depression and that by taking those photographs and spending time to render them in paint in colourful and gestural ways, I was studying his expressions. It was a desperate yearning to understand my child, to bond with him, to feel comfortable and confident in my newfound identity and responsibilities as a cis-gendered mother."

- N. Bruvels

Painting